Family Circus

A New Four Letter Word that is Six Letters Long

/ Sarah / 4 Comments

There is a new swear word in our house.

G.L.U.T.E.N.

For the past few months, The Big Guy has noticed a bit of a pattern in his health and well being. Due to a suggestion from a work colleague, he decided to go off bread, specifically for the gluten component. He had an immediate response. In a positive way!

So we expanded on the experiment. Ironically, our nephew is gluten intolerant, but we didn’t really understand what that meant. A couple hours of online research gave us a crash course. Firstly, gluten is the glue of human food. IT. IS. EVERYWHERE!!! I challenge you to find a bread, cracker, cereal, or dessert that doesn’t have gluten in it.  And if you do, please let me know what it is. Unfortunately, The Big Guy is a Big Lover of all things bread. And cake. And crackers with a smear of cheese. And bread. Did I mention bread? He used to rate Stag and Does based on the “quality” of the kaiser buns and handmade sandwiches he would make with them.

Big bread fan.

However, if that weren’t enough, gluten is in sauces (salad dressings, Worchestshire sauce, marinades and bbq sauce), snack foods (granola bars, pretzels) and pasta (KD?!?!?). This has not only rocked his lunch box, but is has kicked the crap out of my meal planning regimen. I’m not even going to discuss now long it now takes me to find my way through the grocery store, reading the labels on every single product!!

This introduced me to a whole new division of the grocery store – specialty foods! Mind you, I only have a limited selection in the area I living in, so now I’m keeping an eye out at just about every major grocery and bulk food store.

I started with these;

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The muffin mix was $4 and change. They went over well.

The cake mix was $5. It was not. Imagine the delicious smell of brownie, followed by the the most dried out, tasteless brownie you have ever had the misfortune of eating. It was worse that that. Yum.

Along with these purchases, I invested in white rice flour, brown rice flour and tapioca flour. And a cookbook. Then I looked into a line of credit to afford this….

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This pasta better cook itself, cuz it put me back $10. I now understand why my nephew claims to be the poorest student on campus. While his peers live on spaghetti and other cheap pastas, he’s paying almost as much in rent as he is for his weekly food bill!

Ironically, this past weekend my Dad found this –

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…which apparently I’m going to have to drag The Big Guy to, if for no other reason, than I can learn how to cook for him again!

Until then, I expect A LOT more swearing.

 

Heart of the Home Part Deux

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

A number of you have asked what the process was for painting the cupboards, so here’s the saga that was, THE KITCHEN!!

I wanted to change the hardware as it was dated, and since the hinges were mounted on the outside and not hidden, I had to

– take the doors off the cabinets
– remove hardware
– fill the holes remaining with wood filler

Before the wood filler, I wiped them with an environmentally friendly version of TSP from Home Hardware, by Natura. It gets them really clean and lifts the finish (not that these ones had much finish to lift!!!) so the paint adheres well.

I then put three coats of paint on – this is because the originals were so dark and I wanted to go lighter. I painted the cabinets, then painted the doors in the laundry room so they had space to dry.

The Big Guy put on the new hardware – and swore. A lot.

He pulled off the old grout from the counter top to the back splash and TSP’d the counter top.

We used a melamine paint (also from Home Hardware) in the dark brown to help tie in the colors. It went on rather light, more like a milk chocolate, and he panicked, as the walls are more espresso brown. However, when it dried, it darkened down nicely. Although The Big Guy would tell you “IT’S NOT THE SAME COLOR”, it certainly is very close and with the varied colors in the tiles of the back splash, it doesn’t bother me in the least.

We didn’t used the countertop for a week, and even now, are very careful with it. It takes 21 days to fully cure, but when we did this in the last house, we put a small scratch in it within three days. So far, we are doing well!!!

At the time, I told The Big Guy I never wanted to paint cupboards again, but now that I see how well the kitchen turned out, I’m looking at my bathrooms!! lol. Vanities would be MUCH easier as they are smaller. Not nearly as big a project; since there are two bathrooms, we would also have an option. It’s hard having the kitchen out of commission especially with kids that are hungry all the time!

I’m not here to promote a specific product, or company, just sharing what we used based on the resources in our community.

Good Luck!

 

The Joy of Boys

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

These conversations actually happened in my house.

Honestly, I can’t make this stuff up…..

 

Second Born Son: Having a girlfriend is expensive.

Me: How do you know this?

SBS: Everybody knows this!

Me: (Ok, I’ll indulge him) Hmm. So how is having a girlfriend expensive?

SBS: You have to buy the gifts for their birthday, for Christmas, Valentine’s Day. So I’ve figured it out.

Me: Oh, have you?

SBS: Yup. I’m going to break up with them. Right before their birthday or Christmas or Valentine’s day. 

Me: Oh, you think that’s going to work?

SBS: Yup. Then I won’t have to buy them any presents.

Me: Well, I think that’s only going to work for you once or twice, then the word is going to get out.

SBS: What word?

Me: That you are a lousy boyfriend!

 

Followed by this gem…

 

First Born Son: I think I’ve figured out the Valentine’s Day thing.

Me: What’s that?

FBS: It’s not what you do on the 14th that counts…

Me: Ok… (I’ve got some hope here!)

FBS: Ya, it’s what you do on the 15th! And besides, everything is on sale then!

 

I can see I have my work cut out for me!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

So what do you want to be when you grow up?

Harmless enough question. Except when you are the one who has the answer it. We recently sat down with First Born Son and his high school guidance counsellor to discuss his second semester course selection, which was somewhat jumbled. It ended up being a discussion about where he wants to go to college, and ultimately, his career.

Since FBS’s Plan A is not to be, we are looking at ways to get him where he wants to be; on a farm, even if we can’t start him off on one. He needs to make enough money in his primary profession, so that he can eventually buy his own piece of land.

As FBS is half way through Grade 10, we thought it might be a little premature to start the college convo, but according to the counsellor, it’s never too early.

What a change.

When I was in school, you filled out a form half way through Grade 11. It listed your likes and dislikes. The Big Guy did this as well and was advised he would make a wonderful undertaker. My results were inconclusive, and when I went to my guidance counsellor for clarification, and get his opinion on my thoughts for a college education, he suggested that I enrol in university. His only qualifier for this was a random comment about my appearance. I left his office confused and slightly disturbed.

As far as career planning, it was left to my interests at the time and my lack of faith that I would actually be accepted to any college. There was never a conversation about employment options, or earning potential. I applied for Journalism at College 1, Graphic Design at College 2 and Flight Attendant at College 3. I figured wherever I was accepted to, that would be where I attended. So much for a plan. Months later, I hear back from the applications. I’ve been accepted at all three; color me amazed!

But now, it is best to have a plan from Grade 9. The level of study you enter will determine if you will attend university, college or trade school, or enter the work force directly from high school. Each year you narrow your options, putting a finer  point on your field of study. FBS had a fairly sharp point on his future, but learned the hard way that he’s going to have to keep on taking Math, English and Science for the next two years!

I wasn’t sure who was more excited during our meeting, FBS or The Big Guy. The counsellor kept coming up with awesome college courses, more awesome college campuses and EPIC career options. Studying outside, high employment ratios, not tied to a desk!!! I gotta say, it was sounding so good that I was ready to sign up, except the commute is brutal. Apparently the “best” programs were the ones farthest away from home.

Of course they are….

At least I have two more years to get used to that idea, and find ways to keep The Big Guy from stowing away in the luggage!

 

 

 

Passing on Perfection

/ Sarah / 1 Comment

There was a conversation about my sons earlier this week. The person I spoke with made a profound comment.

“Your sons are just perfect.”

My heart sank.

Crazy, right? Mothers around the world would love to have their offspring branded as “perfect” and yet all I can think is “NOOOOO!” I thanked her and dismissed the comment at the same time. After all, there is no way IN. HELL. that my kids are perfect. Their mother certainly isn’t.

I’ve had issues with that word, that concept, for a while now. I don’t believe in “perfect”. Perfect is limiting, unattainable, and damaging. Lifetimes have been wasted in the quest for perfection. It’s a conversation I’ve had with The Big Guy throughout our relationship. He’s a big believer in “perfect”. As you can imagine, it makes for interesting chit chat.

The perfect couple, right? WRONG!

The perfect couple, right? WRONG!

He is driven by details, and is brutally hard on himself. He pours over the fine points. I am deadline driven. I can accomplish a huge amount in a very short period of time. Together we are a great combination, even if we don’t come from he same point of view. Perfection is something he values, and I’m still wondering why he ever wanted to be with me since I know that I don’t rank very high on the Perfect Scale. Nor would I care to.

You learn so much more from a mistake. I don’t want perfect children. They would be very uninteresting. They are better prepared for life with the flaws that they have and learning how to overcome or embrace them.

Perfection is a relative term. My idea of a perfect evening could be pjs, a bowl of popcorn, a great movie and a blanket to cuddle under. Yours might be an evening at a restaurant with friends. Which is actually perfect? Is my vision wrong because it doesn’t match yours? My definition the following night could very well change. Was my first night not “perfect” because I picked a new “perfect” the next time?

THAT'S more like it!

THAT’S more like it!

Once perfection is achieved, which in and of itself is almost impossible for the majority of us, the next mammoth task is to maintain perfection. Any less is failure, which perfectionists know full well, is the antithesis of perfection.

Now please don’t misunderstand, I believe in putting your best effort forth. I think its important to have a personal best. I have looked a photographs I have captured, which at the time were my best, and now I can do better. It’s about growth and the continued development of me. Tomorrow I will do better than I did today, just as I am better today than I was yesterday.

Perfection is uninteresting, predictable. Perfection is the starting place of downfall and disappointment.

Give me flawed, real, genuine. It speaks to me and is a far better motivator.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

It seems to be a right of passage – to bemoan the future of society when one looks at the generation that follows.

Kids these days. No respect for authority. No standards, and on and on.

But I found it rather ironic that based on the behavior of adults lately, how can hold child to a higher standard?

For starters, teachers in Ontario are protesting Bill 115. It is a detailed Bill handed down from the Provincial Government. One of the points of this Bill is that it suspends the Right to Strike, something that has been exercised thoroughly in the past. The Province has stepped over regional school boards and handed down a contract that, amongst other things, freezes teachers wages and reduces the number of sick days they are entitled to. A number of other Public Sector employees have been put the same position, not to mention the Separate School Board Teachers, who signed their agreements, in spite of not being pleased with the situation they were in.

However, the public school teachers’ union decided to protest the legislation, and starting in November (prior to the government handing down the Bill), started one day walk-outs in protest. Parents were given two days notice to find alternate childcare as schools were closed. Just about every school district had participated in rotating strikes. Once the Bill was passed before the end of the year, one day rotating strikes would be in contravention of the Bill. Both elementary and secondary school teachers planned another day each, of walk outs.

Now, the position the union is taking is that their members cannot in good conscience teach children about democracy when their own Rights are being stomped upon.

Hmmm.

How about a child’s Right to an Education?

How about not using children as hostages?

How about not punishing parents for something they have no direct control over?

Now, I’m not a fan of government legislating away Rights. But you know what I’m LESS of a fan of?? Teachers, who are in positions of authority and already complaining about lack of respect and support from students and parents, talking about taking action which was deemed ILLEGAL by the government. The Premier was elected by the people of Ontario, therefore, he acts on behalf of the taxpayers. If you don’t agree with the government, you get to vote them out at the next election.

In the meantime, you have children seeing teachers talking about breaking the law. Yup. Like it doesn’t apply to them. Fortunately, the government stood behind their legislation and indicated that any walk out would be deemed illegal (uh….YA?!?) and the Union backed down.

This week, teachers took the streets in front of their local MPPs’ offices, as well as Queens’ Park to protest Bill 115. Hmmm, taking your message directly to the politicians you are trying to communicate with. What an educated concept! You enact the democratic process as you exercise your Right to peaceful protest, while NOT breaking the law, and maintain your standing with parents and students (not alienate them). BRILLIANT!

Then there is the shining example that is Lance Armstrong.

From the first time that our sons told their first fib, we have been very clear on our position; no matter what it is that you have done, it will be twice as bad if you lie about it.

Didn’t complete a project? Bad.

Didn’t complete a project and then lie to Mom and Dad about it? BAD BAD.

We watched the build up to the Oprah Winfrey interview (first portion to air tonight) and viewed a montage of Armstrong denying, denying, denying, denying, denying that he took performance enhancing drugs. Not him. No way. NEVER! Now that he has lost his corporate sponsorship, endorsements, titles and respect, he has decided to fess up. Oprah has been guarded enough to say that he does not confess in the way that she expected, so I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate that he will say that the entire sport is doping, so therefore it is an even field.

If we all cheat, does anyone do anything wrong?

I looked at my sons and said, “Do you see? Even adults have a hard time with this concept of why it’s bad to lie; and it’s made it worse for him, like it’s worse for you.”

While a small fortune has been raised in his name for research, the base of his foundation is built on a lie. Cancer survivor turn seven-time Tour de France champion turn celebrity. Dare I say, hero?

No. Liar.

How can we have a higher expectation of children, when society presents such questionable role models?

Parenting just got harder.

 

 

Cuba – AKA The Opposite of Roughing It

/ Sarah / 1 Comment

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ok, that break was a little longer than I planned, but a “medical event” messed with my time line, my Christmas and my enjoyment of all things chocolate. So while I’m back in the saddle now, we must get caught up, now mustn’t we!

When we left, I was sharing the joy that was furnace replacement. As I mentioned, we finally had the new furnace up and running hours before we were to fly.

To back up a bit, each winter the boys have played hockey. Since The Big Guy was a hockey player, it was a natural progression for the boys to play. However Second Born Son bowed out last year, and First Born Son called it a career this summer. At first we were a little surprised, but we looked at this sudden discovery of time and funds as an opportunity. Without the stress of the politics of hockey, without running to an arena four or five days a week, without the cost of equipment ($$$$), gas ($$$) registration ($$$), tournaments ($$$) not to mention the gate fee at every away game, we were practically swimming in money.

But not really.

But almost.

So we decided to take a family holiday, and booked a week in Cuba. The boys were beyond excited. The departure date crept up on us, thanks to the distraction of the highly combustible furnace.

We went from no heat to 27 degrees and humidity. HEAVEN!

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Now I was fortunate enough as a child to travel with my parents and Little Sister to a number of destinations. I would have liked to have done more traveling with our boys, but we felt that making a commitment to a team sport, not to mention the financial obligation, was the priority; especially when the boys seemed to enjoy hockey so much.

But an hour in the sunshine and thoughts of arenas, penalties and slap shots were banished. We were all about the sun, waves and OLA!

DSCN0304We made a deal with the boys; they had to try new foods in order to appreciate the local culture. We also did some research on Cuba and the politics of the country so that there would be an understanding for the history of the nation and its people.

They realized they liked calamari, lobster (in small quantities) and the amazing, generous and sincere service we received.

We figured out the lay of the land and checked out a local market.

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Everything from hand-made jewellery, toys and artwork could be found. Not high-end and precious, but beautifully crafted, simply presented and whimsical.

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The amazing part was, these toy vehicles were two for 5 Cuban dollars, which is pretty much at par with Canadian dollars. Five dollars. Second Born Son was stunned, thrilled, but stunned. We grabbed a number of items for gifts and had an enjoyable experience meeting local people. As part of our travel tradition, The Big Guy and I purchased a piece of art to bring home. The trip had only just begun and was already a huge success.

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Except for the sugar cane juice. Not a winner.

There were a couple of provisos for the trip. 1) Mommy was going to spend a huge amount of time in a chaise. This was not to be questioned or debated. 2) Fun must be had by everyone!

We wanted the boys to see us playing A LOT because Lord knows, they certainly see us working A LOT. The Big Guy took care of that right away!

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We also decided to sign up for an excursion. While there was a ton of activities at our resort, we wanted to capitalize on the packages available through our carrier. Since were away during SBS’s birthday, we felt it would be appropriate to plan a special day on his Special Day. A dolphin excursion was the perfect plan.

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After the dolphins we had lunch and then enjoyed the afternoon on a catamaran. I do believe there are catamarans in Heaven, in case you were wondering….

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I made one of the best decisions, which was to leave my “Big Girl” cameras at home and take a simple point and shoot. This meant I ACTUALLY GOT TO BE IN PHOTOS!!!! I KNOW – amazing!!!! It was funny, however, watching “photographers” using their cameras in bright sunlight, with their flashes, then looking at their LCD screen and scowl because they just couldn’t figure out why their pictures weren’t turning out. I didn’t have to worry about babysitting the camera bag and the boys took a ton of photos. It was interesting to see the trip from their perspective.

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First Born Son likes to play with light…..

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SBS was more about food….

That night was SBS’s birthday dinner, where he was treated like a Prince!

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It was important that the boys understand the social climate in Cuba. The average wage is $5 a day for those working on our resort. The work ethic was outstanding and the grace and kindness shown to us by just about everyone at the resort was remarkable, noted even by FBS and SBS. They developed a better appreciation for the things they have, as well as an understanding of new corner of the world.

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By the end of the week, we had enjoyed walks on the beach….

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Lovely dinners out….

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Quality time in the pool…

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…and donuts for breakfast!

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I’m so glad we took this time together, since life is moving far to fast. We hope to have another trip in near future, but if it’s longer than that, we know we have some awesome memories of Cuba.

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Roughing It

/ Sarah / 3 Comments

I know, I know. It’s been so long, it’s like we broke up.

A lot of life hit all at once and instead of throwing out a half-baked blog, I thought I would “take in” everything that was going on; process it, and then share.

To keep it manageable, I will offer the happenings in chronological order, so you can appreciate the “AWESOME” that has been going on.

~~~

When we bought this house, we knew there were things we would have to replace and update. We started right away with the decor and then set our sights on windows and insulation. The furnace was 30 years old, but seemed to work well. We knew at some point we would have to look at updating it as well.

Last year was our second year with oil-fired hot water and we didn’t have a single problem. This fall, The Big Guy arranged to have system  serviced, and the company we purchased oil from (the same company the previous owners used) was contacted for the service. He called before we needed the system turned on. They said they would come as soon as they could, but since a service isn’t as important as a “No Heat” call, they had to handle those customers first.

Completely understandable.

Two weeks later, it’s getting chilly and we’ve had a dusting of snow, and still no service. We contacted another company who not only agreed to be out within two days, but offered an incentive to switch with discount oil rates (you had me at ‘I’ll be there in two days.’). On the designated date the reps were in the basement creating the appropriate amount of noise required to service this beast.

Then. It stopped.

Then – I heard “Oooooh”.

Then. I went downstairs.

The two men were standing in the furnace room with their hands on their hips gazing into the furnace. Being the joker I am, I said, “Hey there, how’s it going?”

“Well. Not so good.”

“As long as you don’t tell me the furnace is done! Ha!”

** crickets **

Apparently we were heating a house with little more than a fire pit in the basement. I wish I was exaggerating right now. I had to sign off that the furnace was condemned and that I would not try to start it. (Death wish??)

After sharing this development with The Big Guy, I promptly started calling the natural gas provider, as we decided this was the time to convert to a more reliable and consistently priced fuel.

<PAUSE>

Allow me to take the opportunity to marvel at the power a monopoly has. We will not be hooked up to natural gas until January 31 2013. No urgency. No way to fast track. No interest in accommodating a new customers. WE ARE NATURAL GAS – SECOND ONLY TO GOD – UNLESS YOU ARE A NO HEAT CALL AND THEN YOU’D LIKE US TO BE GOD!!!!! MMWAAAAHAAA!!

<PLAY>

I also called three local heating companies to see how soon we could get quotes on a new system. I KNEW we would hear back quickly, since my initial experience with our original oil provider was that a No Heat call was a priority, right?!

WRONG!

Out of the three companies contacted, only one got back to us right away. When the owner understood that we were without heat and noted that the temperature was due to fall as the week progressed, he was at our house within 7 hours. We had a quote within 24 hours.

I don’t want to say anything overly negative about the other two companies we contacted, but suffice it to say this column is still in full effect and that when it comes to supporting our Neighbors, our Neighbors would have us freeze!

We waited three days to give the other companies a chance to come through. We were a No Heat call and I couldn’t find too many companies that could give a hoot! The temperature got lower. We sent the boys to my parents for a couple of days, because falling asleep in a freezing house (10 degrees one morning!!!) isn’t pleasant. My parents offered that we stay there too, but we were as stubborn as an old couple in Florida – we were not leaving even if the hurricane is a comin’. (Truthfully, we needed the internet service.) We fired up the fireplace, but due to the multi level layout of the house, it took days to get the heat up to the main level, never mind the bedrooms. The odor, however, is still evident two weeks later!

My father-in-law walked into the house to check on us and promptly walked out. He drove 20 minutes back to his home to bring back two large space heaters. Let’s hear it for family!!!

In short, we went with the first company, which was the right move both in price and in service. The furnace was installed with the required amount of dust, noise and intrusion that is necessary for a major renovation. The entire process was completed at 8 p.m. the night before we were to fly out. Nothing like drama!!

Fly out?

Yup! STAY TUNED! Unless of course the Mayans were right – in which case, this is the ultimate cliff hanger!!!!

 

The Business of Shopping

/ Sarah / Leave a comment

A lot of businesses talk about customer service.

Few of them actually deliver, and I believe it’s because it’s a seldom few who know what it the phrase really means. Living in a smaller town, there is a big push to support local merchants and for the most part, I agree. Unfortunately, I can’t shop for my kids in town, unless it’s their groceries. Shoes and clothes have to be purchased roughly 45 minutes to an hour away.

Therefore, when trips to the “Big City” whichever direction that may be, are strategic and include trips to stores we don’t have locally. One such store really gave me an eye opener in a good way. Upon check out, one employee who jumped to help me with the my cart, offered two really great suggestions regarding purchases I made. His colleague was helping with the transaction and asked if I had considered upgrading my membership, which would allow me to earn back 2% of all my purchases. She explained the change simply, quickly and made complete sense to me. Within five minutes, my membership was modified, I had a new card and was heading to the parking lot. Second Born Son was with me, and he was blown away by the experience. THAT’S how obvious it was.

You see, when we buy items locally, there is a certain assumption. It is assumed that we will buy from our local stores, therefore the level of interest to actually be interested in the purchases we are making isn’t significant. If we don’t buy there, no biggie, they know our neighbors will. They’ll be back next week, and the week after. Unfortunately, my shopping experience at some businesses has left me feeling less human and more like cattle in a chute. Truly – like the change drawer is still closing and I’m the one saying “Thank You” to them!?!

I don’t apologize for shopping out-of-town from time to time even though some people would have you feel guilty for doing so. I work very hard for my pay cheque. It is not in my best interest to burn the gas to drive out-of-town to shop. However, I do get tired of clerks who refuse to make eye contact with me, and heavy sighs when I ask if there “is any more in the back.”

It’s been a long time since I actually felt good about spending money. So much for the customer always being “right”.