motherhood

Practice vs. Passion

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

When Second Born Son decided to learn to play the drums, we were really excited, even though most people thought we were crazy.

After a year of lessons, we could see the interest waning. We encouraged, we cajoled, we got ticked. Finally I advised him after Christmas that we would not be continuing the lessons. He was very disappointed. I explained to him that I don’t want the “Bad Guy” role of forcing him to do something he wasn’t interested in pursuing. He admitted he agreed with the decision – but just as a break. While he does enjoy the drums, I don’t think he LOVES the drums. Certainly not enough to practice on a regular basis. While I don’t mind keeping the kit in the basement incase he changes his mind, I’m not going to make my limited parenting time shrieking about practice.

I remember my parents having to take that role with me, when they paid for organ lessons for me and Little Sister. I can remember practicing and hating the organ because that was the easiest place to direct my frustration. I certainly didn’t want to blame myself, but I’m sure I shot more than one loathing look at my parents.

I guess I’m taking a different look at this. Some might say, “You’re letting him quit!” I’m saying, “I’m letting him find his passion.” There’s a difference. Some of you may recall me being a cow about not allowing First Born Son to quit playing hockey many moons ago. You can pack up your hypocrite flags, because the difference here is FBS wanted to quit because of the actions of others; he still loved hockey. SBS is simply isn’t  interested in drums enough to spend the time to practice therefore I don’t feel the desire to spend the money.

In the middle of this discussion, he was finishing a project for school; a poster of what the Canadian government would have sent out to European countries to encourage immigration. You know, if posters were the thing to do in the 1800s. I took a look at his poster and told him I was disappointed that he traced the image of the man in the poster.

“I didn’t trace it,” he replied, rather indignant. SBS does indignant very well.

“You’re telling me you DREW that?” I replied.

“Yes!” he said.

“You are positive?” I replied, have another look.

“YES! I DIDN’T TRACE IT!” he’s annoyed with me, and rather offended. He’s pretty good at offended too.

That’s when the lightbulb went on for me. I’m not sure why I didn’t see it before.

My grandmother was an artist…

2014-02-12 10.47.37

My sister is an artist….

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not to mention…this….

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And while FBS would say he cannot draw anything beyond stick people, there is no denying his creativity,

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and…

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…both from his brain, no pattern here folks.

His father is creative through his landscaping and I’ve been known to take a photo or two, so I’m not sure what took me so long to put it together. But I realized we were definitely on to something after his first lesson.

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Wow. Looking good!

Last night was his second lesson…

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Holy. Crap.

SBS is excited, inspired and eager to learn more.

So in the end, is it about fighting about practicing, or is this about finding your passion and going with that?

I’ll take the later.

 

 

 

Oldie but a Goodie – Second Born Son

/ Sarah / Leave a comment

I’m going through my original blog to pick out some of my favourites. Here’s one of my favourites with Second Born Son. Enjoy!

http://thebowerygirl.blogspot.ca/2009/07/recent-conversation-with-second-born.html

 

A Sense of Occasion

/ Sarah / Leave a comment

Pride, as a parent, is as thrilling an emotion as it gets. You see your child accomplishing something; be recognized for something; have others see him or her as the outstanding individual you believe them to be; for them to see it in themselves.

When Second Born Son told us his artwork for his school’s Royal Canadian Legion Remembrance Day Contest was selected for an award, we were thrilled. I think he was pleased because not too many boys have been recognized, so he was “representin”!

This morning, he asked what he should wear. I asked him how he’d like to dress.

“Probably something nice?” he said.

“Sure!” I replied, knowing he is not a fan of the shirt and tie.

“Like a button shirt?” he clarified. I nodded.

“Maybe a tie?” I venture.

He nods, not pleased, but not completely against the idea.

As we head out the door, he’s grabbed his dress shoes, without prompting.  He has on a good coat, without me reminding him. As we enter the Legion, he is greeted by the Legion member, an elderly man, who works in the schools. He recognizes SBS and comments on his appearance. As do other Legion members. He’s the only student with a tie on. Actually, he’s the only student who’s not wearing jeans. That’s not the point, and we’ve told both boys that. You don’t judge someone who isn’t wearing what you’re wearing. You don’t know if their wardrobe is a choice or not. For us, we like to dress for the occasion.

So as proud as I was that he was recognized for his artistic talent, I was equally pleased that he showed an institution like the Legion the respect it deserved.

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Way to go Bud!

Baby – Teenager

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

2013-12-03 14.06.19These eyes tell it all.

You were meant to come into our family and bring your own brand of humour, love and caring. For that, I will be forever grateful.

Second Born Son, like his brother, arrived fashionably late. He was supposed to be a November baby, but held on (almost literally) until December 3, 2000. Two trips to the hospital an hour away. Twelve hours of labor YOU LITTLE BUM – but totally worth it for the dimples alone!

Now this little man was born at 5:55 a.m. and he’s been a night owl ever since. (Save for the times around 24 months when he would put himself to bed if we had company over! Boyfriend needed his beauty sleep!) He was the happiest of babies until he was PISSED. OFF. Then you needed to be jumpin’, people. You need to be jumpin’. My husband’s family is known for its blond, strawberry blonde and downright redheads. They didn’t know quite what to do with a black-haired baby. He loved the dog, and adored his brother. I need to find a way to download video of him laughing his tush off at his brother because the laughter is from another soul. SBS IS laughter.

Because we had a son already, many people thought we were hoping for a girl. We didn’t care. What was meant to be would be. We were meant to have this baby. And with his arrival, we knew we were a full family. So while his brother made me a Mommy, this little guy…

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…made our family.

Love you Tootie! Happy 13th Birthday!!!! xo

 

Raising Rob Ford

/ Sarah / 1 Comment

So, the Rob Ford Soap Opera has given me quite a pain. Right over here. No back a little bit more…

Between horrific videos, more horrific press conferences and enough drama to keep a spin doctor employed through to the end of his term as Mayor Toronto, it’s truly a train wreck and we are helpless to stop it, or look away.

 Here we have an adult male who is having, in effect, a toddler temper tantrum on the world stage. I find myself over and over again trying to explain this man’s actions to my sons, who frequently reply with, “But didn’t he learn not to do that when he was a kid?” or “Didn’t his parents teach him that?” They have come to a logical conclusion here. This man needs some discipline; perhaps some parenting is in order?

 You think I’m over simplifying? Let’s break it down. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been told these gems once or twice.

 1. Lying Only Makes It Worse.

Let’s start at the beginning. When this all started, it was about a grainy cell phone photo where Rob Ford was doing his best Whitney Houston impression. And while he didn’t come out with Crack Is Whack, he did come out with a big denial. Had he come forward with an acknowledgement of the incident and some humility (I know, it’s not humanly possible for this man), he could have slipped off quietly for some rehab, stayed in office and people would have given him the second chance he seems hellbent on. However, LYING about the video’s existence started the entire saga on bad footing. We look back now and say, “Well, if he lied about that, what else is he lying about?” Let’s remember, this man has already been temporarily suspended from office, and disciplined for using public transit for his personal use – the transportation of his football team. Prejudice exists, I’m afraid, based on previous behavior.

 2. Don’t Lie To Your Mother.

Momma Ford and sister Kathy took to CP24 to defend Rob’s “honor” (?!) and say that he has been truthful to them, that he doesn’t have an addiction problem, and that they support him 100%. Either the Ford ladies are Oscar-calibre actors, or they have tickets on a cruise down De Nial as a half-wit monkey can see what the Ford family truly is; a bunch of enablers. I’m sure Big Brother Doug Ford was thrilled to look like a moron on Rob’s behalf; DEMANDING the resignation of the Chief of Police on the grounds of trumping up allegations, less than five hours before his brother would have a media conference where he would admit to smoking crack. Ouch!

 3. Watch Your Mouth. (aka – You Kiss Your Momma With That Mouth?)

Right now my eldest son is 16 years old. He swears. If you read this blog with any frequency, you know I do too. The Big Guy can let it fly with the best of them. Second Born Son is keeping it clean, but I fully expect him to melt down at some point and “expand his vocabulary”. I don’t say this with pride, I say this to be relative. Most (not all) people have sworn at some point. Most people (not all) know when it is appropriate and with what audience. My 16-year-old hormone-laden son knows that if he were to come out with some of the crap flowing out of Rob Ford’s mouth (in private, never mind in public), he’d have his jaw wired shut. Ever since the boys were small, we discussed what kind of words were “appropriate” since media, friends, and some family, don’t have the same frame of reference, and we didn’t want our five-year-old coming out with a big “What the HELL?” just before Easter Dinner. We started with negative words like “idiot”, “hate” and “stupid”. Stupid is still as big a swear word as “asshole” in our house and will get you promptly relocated to your room with a lecture to follow. Common civility dictates some words are simply not appropriate, especially the mouth they come from is four inches above the Chain of Office.

 4. Be a Gentleman/Lady.

This may seem self-evident, but what this means is, be polite to others. Hold yourself in certain regard, and you’ll be surprised in how others treat you. If you act like a common street thug, be prepared to be viewed that way. Strive for more. This means refraining from making lewd comments about oral sex with former staffers, and even more so, don’t make that first statement seem less offense by making a followup remark that is just as visual about YOUR. WIFE.

 5. You are Judged by the Company You Keep.

Remember the first time your parents had to tell you to watch the company you kept? Remember how confusing that was to figure out? eventually, though, we did. We understood that be associating with people who broke rules, were disrespectful, caused trouble, were in trouble, were looking for trouble, were often…trouble? Ya, Rob wasn’t listening that day.

 6. Say “Sorry” Like You Mean It.

When we were kids, saying sorry was like getting a band-aid. It solved the problem immediately. As we mature and the Sorry we need to say is for bigger issues than, say, slamming the door, we understand that Sorry isn’t a band-aid anymore. It’s an acknowledgement of our error and it’s impact on another person. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone using the word Sorry with no meaning behind it. At first Rob Ford refused to say he was Sorry. Within days, he was saying Sorry so much, it began to lose its impact. He quickly moved on to say that he’s said Sorry so many times, he doesn’t know what else to say. And that, my friends, is the problem. There is nothing else to say.

 7. You Always Get Caught.

Wasn’t it freaky how our Moms knew stuff? How did they know??? Did they really have eyes in the back of their heads? Was there a Secret Mom Society?? Any time we do something wrong, bad, hurtful and try to cover it up, it always comes back to bite us. If we didn’t learn this when we were four sneaking cookies, then perhaps we have to learn it in our mid 40s, with low-grade cell-phone video to rat us out. (FYI – There totally is a Secret Mom Society – in case my kids are reading this…)

 8. You Call These People Your Friends?

Not to be confused with #5, this point is for all the people who are lining up to say they support Rob Ford and that this media circus is nothing more than a witch hunt. If you are truly part of Ford Nation, and want to see this man re-elected for another term, you will show support in him stepping aside temporarily. Because if nothing else is evident, it is this; Rob Ford has issues, demons if you will, that need to be addressed now. His passionate refusal to leave the role of Mayor is not only an issue for the City and the Province, but most importantly, is jeopardizing his well-being and his role as a father and husband. Choose your priorities wisely. Voters love a Come-Back story. Be the new and improved Rob Ford. Everyone deserves a second chance, but its hard to rally from a body bag.

 Let’s hope someone, whose opinion matters to Rob Ford, can step in and give him the sage advice he needs.

Starting with a Time Out.

Of Boys and Men

/ Sarah / 4 Comments
What a bunch...

What a bunch…

I am surrounded by Testosterone. Even the dogs are both male.

As one of two daughters, it was extremely enlightening for me to become a mother of two sons. Once the initial shock wore off, I vowed to be the most enlightened and supportive mother I could be. But the male/female dynamic continues to intrigue me.

Take, for example, the roles The Big Guy and I have. We aren’t exactly “traditional” in all aspects of our relationship. He has been very supportive of me showing our sons the range of abilities woman have and how there is no difference when it comes how to treat people, what to expect from people and what people can expect of themselves. Not “men” vs “women”.

However, I have noticed a bit of a disturbing trend. Studies (I don’t have to link them – Google has MILLIONS of links – see you in 50 years) that bring to light a change in the roles we play and why. Women (girls) have been encouraged to go out and be “more”, do “more”, have “more”. That there is no limit to what they can do, and thanks to the Women’s Movement, we have the ability to do everything a man can do.

Hallelujah!

But what about our boys? What support have we given them in the evolving world of relationships and dynamics?

<PAUSE>

Now some of what I’m going to say is going to SOUND like I’m anti-female. For the record, I’m not, and since I kinda am  A GIRL, I think I get to say this without any judgement, but perhaps with a little perspective. Follow through before freaking out, ok?

<PLAY>

Today, girls are having, on average, 75 sexual partners throughout their highschool careers. Consequently, this means the boys are in the same camp – but follow along. This is a huge increase from 10 years ago, and unheard of a generation ago. The difference today is that girls feel more in control of their sexuality, and while we could debate the reasoning behind WHY a young person is so sexually active at such a young age, I really don’t have time for a Thesis today – got laundry to do.

The trend is not that males are necessarily pursuing females, it’s that females are initiating these encounters on an increasing scale. Traditionally males were the pursuers, now females are the ones reaching out.

This is at the same time where females are entering post secondary education and subsequently the workforce in larger numbers than ever (although we still have to figure out how to make as much as man for the same work, right ladies??) and some would point to selective hiring for minorities as to why that is happening. I like to think it’s because the job is going to the most qualified person – after all, isn’t that what our mothers/grandmothers fought for? Equality? Women are becoming more successful in their careers and pushing of relationships, marriage and family longer and longer.

What are our guys doing?

There are TV franchises built around the premise of the son come back home to nest when he should be soaring because he’s not out making it in the world – because it’s become common within our society.

Women are being challenged to be all they can be. Conquer the World!

Men are the punchline on Wednesday nights.

Think I’m looking too Big Picture?

There was a phone call at our house the other day.

“Is Second Born Son there?” asked the young female voice.

“No, I’m sorry, may I take a message?” I asked.

(flurry of giggles from multiple mouths) “Nope.”

Dead air and the click of phone disconnecting.

I advised SBS that he had a message from an unknown source. He wasn’t impressed. If you remember, this has happened to him before, albeit a little more aggressively.

We returned from a week-long vacation to be greeted by another young girl (we’re talking Grade 4 here people) first asking SBS to call her, then demanding that he call her, and finally berating him for NOT calling her, over the course of four or five messages. BTW – she never left her number.

This time, as in the time previous, SBS was HORRIFIED. A girl had CALLED HIM!? What’s up with THAT? (Remember here that as a household with less than traditional roles, we have not stipulated that ONLY BOYS CALL GIRLS.) He immediately sourced out the “offending” caller at school and reported to me the following day. We talked at length about why it bothered him that she (and apparently an entire room full of friends on a sleep over) decided to ring him up.

What I learned was that he felt he should be the one calling the girl. Now, society has that stereotype out there, but I could also see how this was ingrained in him. It bothered him, beyond what other people thought. This is a kid who was not overly concerned about being popular, and more about being true to himself.

He didn’t know how to be himself if someone else was taking on a role he thought was his.

And that, my friends, is when the light bulb went on for me.

If we are going to empower girls to go higher, faster, farther, then we better be prepared to equally support our boys to understand how to navigate these changes and empower them as well. SBS and I talked about how he may not be comfortable with a girl calling him, but maybe she has the confidence to pick up the phone first. After all, I would think most men would agree, calling a woman for the first time can be an unnerving experience. Less feeling threatened, more feeling flattered. When he’s old enough, we can work through how he can feel better about his role in a relationship, but DEAR GAWD, HE’S ONLY IN GRADE 8!! Maybe next week?

Overall, men aren’t understanding the new dynamic in male/female relationships (let’s be honest – I don’t think they had the “old” dynamic figured out either…) and this was impacting feelings of inadequacy which in turn leaves women feeling like men are not “bringing it” to relationships.

The biggest complaint of dating women who are in the 20s-30s is that Chilvary is dead. Romance is gone from dating. BUT, how many times can a guy hear that his date is more than capable of paying her own way THANKYOUVERYMUCH, or that some “loser” held the door open for her, or heaven forbid – he brought FLOWERS , before he stops making these gestures that he thought made her feel special. You can’t bemoan the Death of Romance while you hold the smoking gun.

If I don’t need you for an income and I don’t need a relationship for sex, and I’m only considered successful if I conquer the world on my own, then really what do I need you for again? Not. Good. For either side.  As women are discovering their own worth, we need to remember the value men bring, before we have a generation of guys who don’t know how to date, never mind be romantic, supportive and empowering of their partner. It’s about give and take. Balance. Equality.

To me, Feminism isn’t the ability to trod upon a man’s sense of self-worth, it’s the ability to enjoy and explore my own. Women can be free to express, experience, succeed and fail.

And so can Men. It shouldn’t be a stigma for a male to be successful, or want to take charge, or want to take care of someone or be the one to pick up the phone first. We need to show our boys that while we are celebrating our daughters, our sons are not over looked.

Remembering Camp

/ Sarah / 1 Comment

It’s a bit of a surreal moment in time for me.

29 years ago, I was packing up to go to my first Summer camp.

Tomorrow, Second Born Son makes his first foray into overnight camping. He is excited and packed. Prepared and eager. I’m so happy for him, because I know what lies ahead for him; fun, friends, laughs and memory making moments. It was at camp that I learned about Mean Girls – not such a great memory, I realize. It was at camp that I picked up my first camera, my father’s Brownie – a much happier memory.

I got my first glimpse of boys trying to impress girls and girls flirting with boys. While it was a church camp, the message was handled in a light and meaningful way. I remember admiring the camp counsellors and thinking how mature and sophisticated they were. Now I realize they were lucky to be 20. How much do we know at 20? Infinitely more than at 12!

I remember the mess hall and how our names would be called out to receive our mail. If you received three letters, you had to sing for your third correspondence. I remember cleaning my first bathroom at came (as if that wasn’t traumatizing enough), and learning that bleach is the ONLY way to get dishes truly clean.

There was the nightly campfire with each group taking turns entertaining the rest of the campers. Learning that you could only order so much candy from the tuck shop. Realizing that while leeches are disgusting, they are far from fatal.

I loved it so much, I went a second year.

SBS’s week will be a little different. He is going on a canoe adventure. He is taking is going with one of his best friends. They will leave the main camp and strike out on the Saugeen River.

He is going to love it. I am going to miss him like crazy!

Gotta go now – got A LOT of letters to write him!

Passing on Perfection

/ Sarah / 1 Comment

There was a conversation about my sons earlier this week. The person I spoke with made a profound comment.

“Your sons are just perfect.”

My heart sank.

Crazy, right? Mothers around the world would love to have their offspring branded as “perfect” and yet all I can think is “NOOOOO!” I thanked her and dismissed the comment at the same time. After all, there is no way IN. HELL. that my kids are perfect. Their mother certainly isn’t.

I’ve had issues with that word, that concept, for a while now. I don’t believe in “perfect”. Perfect is limiting, unattainable, and damaging. Lifetimes have been wasted in the quest for perfection. It’s a conversation I’ve had with The Big Guy throughout our relationship. He’s a big believer in “perfect”. As you can imagine, it makes for interesting chit chat.

The perfect couple, right? WRONG!

The perfect couple, right? WRONG!

He is driven by details, and is brutally hard on himself. He pours over the fine points. I am deadline driven. I can accomplish a huge amount in a very short period of time. Together we are a great combination, even if we don’t come from he same point of view. Perfection is something he values, and I’m still wondering why he ever wanted to be with me since I know that I don’t rank very high on the Perfect Scale. Nor would I care to.

You learn so much more from a mistake. I don’t want perfect children. They would be very uninteresting. They are better prepared for life with the flaws that they have and learning how to overcome or embrace them.

Perfection is a relative term. My idea of a perfect evening could be pjs, a bowl of popcorn, a great movie and a blanket to cuddle under. Yours might be an evening at a restaurant with friends. Which is actually perfect? Is my vision wrong because it doesn’t match yours? My definition the following night could very well change. Was my first night not “perfect” because I picked a new “perfect” the next time?

THAT'S more like it!

THAT’S more like it!

Once perfection is achieved, which in and of itself is almost impossible for the majority of us, the next mammoth task is to maintain perfection. Any less is failure, which perfectionists know full well, is the antithesis of perfection.

Now please don’t misunderstand, I believe in putting your best effort forth. I think its important to have a personal best. I have looked a photographs I have captured, which at the time were my best, and now I can do better. It’s about growth and the continued development of me. Tomorrow I will do better than I did today, just as I am better today than I was yesterday.

Perfection is uninteresting, predictable. Perfection is the starting place of downfall and disappointment.

Give me flawed, real, genuine. It speaks to me and is a far better motivator.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

/ Sarah / 2 Comments

It seems to be a right of passage – to bemoan the future of society when one looks at the generation that follows.

Kids these days. No respect for authority. No standards, and on and on.

But I found it rather ironic that based on the behavior of adults lately, how can hold child to a higher standard?

For starters, teachers in Ontario are protesting Bill 115. It is a detailed Bill handed down from the Provincial Government. One of the points of this Bill is that it suspends the Right to Strike, something that has been exercised thoroughly in the past. The Province has stepped over regional school boards and handed down a contract that, amongst other things, freezes teachers wages and reduces the number of sick days they are entitled to. A number of other Public Sector employees have been put the same position, not to mention the Separate School Board Teachers, who signed their agreements, in spite of not being pleased with the situation they were in.

However, the public school teachers’ union decided to protest the legislation, and starting in November (prior to the government handing down the Bill), started one day walk-outs in protest. Parents were given two days notice to find alternate childcare as schools were closed. Just about every school district had participated in rotating strikes. Once the Bill was passed before the end of the year, one day rotating strikes would be in contravention of the Bill. Both elementary and secondary school teachers planned another day each, of walk outs.

Now, the position the union is taking is that their members cannot in good conscience teach children about democracy when their own Rights are being stomped upon.

Hmmm.

How about a child’s Right to an Education?

How about not using children as hostages?

How about not punishing parents for something they have no direct control over?

Now, I’m not a fan of government legislating away Rights. But you know what I’m LESS of a fan of?? Teachers, who are in positions of authority and already complaining about lack of respect and support from students and parents, talking about taking action which was deemed ILLEGAL by the government. The Premier was elected by the people of Ontario, therefore, he acts on behalf of the taxpayers. If you don’t agree with the government, you get to vote them out at the next election.

In the meantime, you have children seeing teachers talking about breaking the law. Yup. Like it doesn’t apply to them. Fortunately, the government stood behind their legislation and indicated that any walk out would be deemed illegal (uh….YA?!?) and the Union backed down.

This week, teachers took the streets in front of their local MPPs’ offices, as well as Queens’ Park to protest Bill 115. Hmmm, taking your message directly to the politicians you are trying to communicate with. What an educated concept! You enact the democratic process as you exercise your Right to peaceful protest, while NOT breaking the law, and maintain your standing with parents and students (not alienate them). BRILLIANT!

Then there is the shining example that is Lance Armstrong.

From the first time that our sons told their first fib, we have been very clear on our position; no matter what it is that you have done, it will be twice as bad if you lie about it.

Didn’t complete a project? Bad.

Didn’t complete a project and then lie to Mom and Dad about it? BAD BAD.

We watched the build up to the Oprah Winfrey interview (first portion to air tonight) and viewed a montage of Armstrong denying, denying, denying, denying, denying that he took performance enhancing drugs. Not him. No way. NEVER! Now that he has lost his corporate sponsorship, endorsements, titles and respect, he has decided to fess up. Oprah has been guarded enough to say that he does not confess in the way that she expected, so I’m going to go out on a limb and speculate that he will say that the entire sport is doping, so therefore it is an even field.

If we all cheat, does anyone do anything wrong?

I looked at my sons and said, “Do you see? Even adults have a hard time with this concept of why it’s bad to lie; and it’s made it worse for him, like it’s worse for you.”

While a small fortune has been raised in his name for research, the base of his foundation is built on a lie. Cancer survivor turn seven-time Tour de France champion turn celebrity. Dare I say, hero?

No. Liar.

How can we have a higher expectation of children, when society presents such questionable role models?

Parenting just got harder.

 

 

Not Quite a Midlife Crisis, AKA Getting My Act Together

/ Sarah / Leave a comment

The last day of September. The month has flown by. And with it, another birthday.

Over the course of the past 30 days, I have come to a realization; at 41, I am half way to 82.

82. Eighty-two. If I’m lucky.

The last time I felt this way, I was 15 and freaking out because I was half way to 30 and that was so OLD! Foolish, foolish girl. Perhaps it was the anniversary of my arrival, or the lack of sleep, but I had a stern talking to Myself. It would seem the two have come to an understanding.

1. ME, MYSELF AND I – I have moved myself up my own list of priorities. This is huge for me. I have taken my role as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, as being my priorities and then felt frustrated when others haven’t acknowledged the effort I put out. It’s not their fault. It’s mine. No one can change it but me. So I have. I just need to work on the guilt!

2. SALLY FREAKIN’ SUNSHINE –  I am pulling away from negativity. I have always been a positive person, and I think that positivity has drawn people who are less than sunny. Their frustrations and sour demeanor has been a drain on me and I’m simply going to focus on people who are willing to find solutions, not dwell on the problems.

3. LET’S GET PHYSICAL – Taking care of myself kinda fits in with #1, but this is a more literal, physical interpretation. Get my arse moving. I missed an entire summer of playing ball, and I hated not being more active. I asked for a treadmill for my birthday, and The Big Guy was obliging. I’m hoping that having this conveniently located in the Rec Room, near the DVD collection, will keep me walking through the winter.

4. GETTING ON THE FUN BUS – I’m taking advantage of any opportunity for something fun. While 82 would be awesome, suffice it to say that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow and I don’t want to look back on a life of work. How much fun have you had lately?

5. THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX – I’m keeping my mind open to things. Just in this past month, I’ve given myself the latitude to explore ideas and ideologies that I hadn’t really considered before. I don’t think it’s too late for me to learn and investigate concepts outside of what I’ve accepted as the “norm.” I’m really excited by this and can’t wait to stretch my brain!

6. NO MEANS NO – I’m learning to say NO. Because NO is such a foreign word to me, I’ve evaluated the things I devote time and effort to and asked if I’m enjoying doing them. If it’s not a resounding YES, it’s a NO. NO gets the boot every time.

So while I haven’t had much to report here in this past month, I’ve certainly done my homework. When you look back at your life, however long or short it will be, will you be satisfied with it?

I’m doing what I can to make sure I am, and I’ll be rocking with the 82 year olds.